Category Archives: The First Time is the Sweetest

Write more books (preferably ones that don’t suck).

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

I hate ninety percent of the books I read. Yes, yes I know: hate is such a strong word, it’s all a matter of opinion, what’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander and other clichés, but whatever. Most books suck. (Either that or I’m terribly picky. The queen of finicky.)

Some are so bad I give up in the middle rather than slog through the whole thing. It’s as if the words on the page got together and decided that it would be fun to torment the reader: hackneyed dialogue, passive voice, adjective abuse. Sometimes the main character is so hateful or stupid or whiny I want to punch him or her in the nose.

Some are just meh (my vocabulary word of the week). My younger teen uses it to describe school. My older teen uses it to describe his younger brother. I also saw it in a book review recently. It’s the new “whatever.” It’s the kind of word that says: I didn’t have the energy to throw this in the trash so I might as well finish reading it. Meh books comprise the biggest portion of my ninety percent.

Some books are so godawful that I actively despise them. These I usually finish just so I can knowledgeably diss them to any friends/family/victims who happen to wander by. I say stuff like: OMG did you read [insert book title here]? It was WRETCHED. The heroine was a dog-walker who fell for her cousin’s meth addict half-brother/stepson! They boinked in the back freezer of a butcher shop in between sides of COW! (I try to make sure my voice grows more shrill with every phrase so as to press upon my listener the complete hideousness of the book.)

I’ve been reading for four decades (yes, frightening, I know) so I’ve read a LOT of horrible books. At some point I said to myself: honey, it’s time. Write a book and see if you can do any better. Since that elusive ten percent of absolutely brilliant writing happened so rarely (novels which are so excellent I cried with envy and despair as I read each delicious word), I decided I should write my own. I would write the book I wanted to read.

Uh-huh.

That didn’t go so well, as you can imagine. Do you know how difficult it is to avoid passive voice/hackneyed dialogue/adjective abuse? Filter words exist solely to pop up in the middle of any paragraph I write, laughing and giving me the finger. Then there’s the length issue. Do you have any idea how long an average novel runs? 50,000-60,000 words. Do you know how long I can sit still? [Insert unintelligible vocalization of derision here.] At one point I almost resorted to stapling my ass to my chair. I gave myself little rewards: chocolate if I finished a chapter (this did not help the size of my butt), more chocolate if I finished two chapters (butt still spreading), and chocolate with caramel if I finished three (yes, I know this is the opposite of what I should do if I want to be physically functional but too bad-I don’t need to walk to write). Eventually I got the hang of it and published some novels.

Unfortunately I still have the original problem: most books suck. Most books will always suck, especially those that seem fun to read at first. They will suck giant ass rocks and they will suck tiny little turds of poo. They will suck until the sun explodes and our planet collapses into a heap of molten carbon (at which point I’ll be like: Whoa. Fireworks. Then I will consume my body weight in chocolate until I explode. I mean, what the hell else is there to do when that happens?)

There’s only one solution to the “most books suck” problem: write more books (preferably ones that don’t suck).

 
Of course, I’m sure there’s someone out there who thinks my books suck.

 

 

That’s ok.

 

 

No, really. They can go write their own books.

 

That don’t suck.

 

 

 

Me? I’ll be eating a ton of chocolate while I type happily into the sunset (which looks really, REALLY BIG right now. And HOT. Um.
WTF?).

How writing is like kissing (and repression is your friend)

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

My first kiss involved a street corner, a dumb blonde (not me, the guy), and a lot of regret (on my part). I’d just gotten off the school bus (I think I was in tenth grade but I was a nerd so give me a break). There were  kids everywhere. Trash littered the sidewalk. My mother was just inside the building across the street and she normally stood near the window. The amount of humiliation possible with this particular kiss was EXTREME.

I was nervous. I’d been hinting to the guy for weeks that I was interested but he wasn’t the brightest fork in the drawer. When he finally made his move I was so relieved. . . except the kiss was TERRIBLE. Awful. Unbelievably bad in ways I won’t go into because of the risk of triggering a disturbing traumatic flashback.The guy was cute, but kind of a jerk. I was surprised by this for about three seconds (the time it took me to jerk my head AWAY) then I thought: “Oh yeah, that’s right. Never judge a book by its cover.”

First kisses: ah, what could be more godawful? Um. . . the first thing you ever write. It’s usually utter drivel. Dreck. LAME personified. The first thing I ever put down on paper involved bunnies. And rainbows. Or maybe unicorns. I am still busy repressing those memories.

The only thing that makes it all better is that if you keep at it, it gets better. Years later, the first kiss I shared with my husband was EPIC in its awesomeness. Happily writing works the same way. You keep at it and it gets better.

The very first novel I wrote was The First Time is the Sweetest. I’d written other things but never a full-length novel. To this day, the title makes me giggle a little bit. Virgin heroine and virgin novelist: what synergy! So appropriate! Hilarious! It’s on sale right now at BookStrand (50% off) because they’ve just Retro Released it. I’m really fond of this book. Unlike my first kiss, I have great memories of writing it and releasing it into the world.

Of course, I’ve moved on a bit since then. I’ve had FOUR other books published since then, most recently Love Storm which is still on multiple bestseller lists at BookStrand! Someone gave it a five star rating (thank you unknown reader). And I got to play with weather when I wrote it! The main characters kick ass!

I also have a brand-new novel coming out this Friday. I had a blast writing this one: Kiss Is A Four-Letter Word. There is a scene in this book at a charity kissing booth that makes me squee in hilarity every time I think about it (hot + funny = squee). There are so many first times in this book: first kisses, first realizations, first confessions. Oh and guess what? The heroine in this new novel is a tad inexperienced. She may even be a virgin. . .

Release date May 18, 2012 from Evernight Publishing.

Discount on bestsellers!

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

The First Time is the Sweetest is still on sale at Siren-BookStrand. Get a 15% discount on my first erotic romance! This offer ends January 12.


buy link: http://www.bookstrand.com/the-first-time-is-the-sweetest


[Ménage Amour: Erotic Contemporary Ménage a Trois Romance, M/M/F, with M/M, Suspense]
Two men.


One woman.

A mystery shooter.
Who is trying to kill Sabrina and why? Will Jimmy be able to protect her, or will he need the help of sexy FBI agent Gabriel? And how can Sabrina resist falling in love when she experiences passion for the first time?
Despite the danger, she can’t help how she feels, especially not when Gabriel and Jimmy begin to rekindle the romance they had to abandon years ago. When she realizes that both men desire her just as much as they want each other, she falls head over heels for the first time.
When violence strikes, the only way out of disaster is for the three of them to trust in each other and in love.
A Siren Erotic Romance

 ♪♫♪♫  

Happily, my new book Appassionato is still on sale and will be for several more weeks! Get this new bestseller now at Siren-Bookstrand!


[Ménage Amour: Erotic Paranormal Ménage a Trois Romance, M/M/F]
When Emma dreams about super-famous rockstar Duncan and his friend Jake, it never occurs to her they might be dreaming too. About her. Everyone knows dreams aren’t real, but what will happen when the trio’s shared visions develop into a passion that can’t be denied?
When reports of a new “bonding” phenomenon surface, Duncan and Jake finally realize why they feel so connected to the sweet high-school librarian they’ve never met. The headaches and dreams suddenly make sense, but it isn’t until they meet Emma face-to-face that instinct takes over, and passion binds their minds and bodies into a link that can’t be broken.
Then, just as the happy ending Emma always hoped for seems possible, a hostage crisis and a series of kidnappings threatens everything. Can the trio unravel the conspiracy in time to protect the future of their bond?
A Siren Erotic Romance

A new review from Book Reviews R Us.com

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

This went up a few weeks ago but I’ve been so busy writing for NaNoWriMo that I completely forgot to blog about it:

Reviewed by Stephanie Rollins for BookreviewsRus.com

“Sabrina is a 21-year-old nerdy graduate student who has never been kissed.  How she longed for more experience, but her first kiss was disgusting.

Jimmy, the older boy-next-door, suggests that he teach her.  He and his friend, Gabriel, teach her to kiss and so much more.  There is m/m, m/f/m, and m/f.

The plot is strong, also.  Someone is trying to kill or kidnap Sabrina in order to seek revenge on her father, a lawyer.  Gabriel happens to be a Special Agent of the FBI who is in charge of guarding her.

There is a lot of heat to this book.  It is not for the faint of heart.  I recommend it!”

Thank you so much, Stephanie!

Erotica + mom, an awkward affair. . .

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

My mother is awesome. I’ve been a writer for a long time, mostly poetry and technical manuals for the last couple decades. When I told her I decided to write a romance novel a few years ago all she said was: cool! When I mentioned that the novel had been accepted by Siren-BookStrand earlier this year, and oh, by the way, it’s an erotic romance, she said: congratulations! Whoa. Totally unfazed, my mom.

When The First Time is the Sweetest was published, she bought a copy and read it. On her computer in the living room. With my dad looking over her shoulder (I am so NOT talking about him right now). I was delighted! Then I remembered I’d written a menage romance. A really steamy menage with some serious guy on guy action as well as the usual threesome activity. Did I remember to warn her about that? Hmm, I thought I did. I remembered saying: this book is really naughty, mom, okay? Just so you know.

I felt somewhat disconcerted, not because I was embarrassed, but because I didn’t want her to be. When I called her up, she told me she “just skipped those parts.” And then she informed me that she told everyone she knew that her daughter wrote this great book, and oh, by the way, it’s erotica. She asked for some business cards to hand out.

My reaction to this? —> !!!!

Okay, I thought to myself. That was cool. I mean, I know I wrote a bit of plot for the novel, but the bulk of it revolves around the three main characters and their relationship. My mother grew up in a small town (and lives there still) with very little exposure to the larger, liberal society that I inhabit so unconsciously now. Not to say that she is sheltered, because the opposite is true; she’s a tough cookie. But aside from vicariously traveling through television or books, she just hasn’t been to a lot of places. She is not a feminist. I worried about this when I told her I was writing erotica until I remembered that she’s the one who lent me A. N. Roquelaure’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. Then I remembered that she was also the one who gave me Fanny Hill by John Cleland. Oh yeah, I thought to myself. That’s where I got started with erotica, all those years ago.

So, after I swallowed my surprise I said: Sure! Next time I see you I’ll give you some cards. Tell everyone you know! She laughed, then launched into a discussion about my niece’s daughter as though we hadn’t just had the most amazing conversation.

My mother is really cool.

I’m a lucky girl. And really, I shouldn’t have been surprised. These books are very popular, it just never occurred to me that the people who read them were women like my mother. Clearly I was wrong.

Has anyone else been surprised to find erotic romance on your mom’s bookshelf? Or stuffed in your best friend’s closet? Inquiring minds want to know.

Thank you universe

Posted by Erin M. Leaf on

I wrote my first romance novel last year and spent the first part of this year rewriting it. I never expected anyone to accept it because everyone knows that a writer’s first novel is the one that gets shoved in the closet. Or burnt. Sometimes people use it to line the litter-box (hey, I’ve heard stranger things).

So, I didn’t have high expectations for “The First Time is the Sweetest.” However, after I sent in my submission, Siren said yes, we’ll publish this if you fix these issues. I fixed the issues. Siren’s excellent editors found more problems and I fixed those, too. It was humbling and I learned a lot from the experience.

Finally, after reviewing more edits and making last minute changes, the book was released on August 18. I was thrilled! I didn’t expect to have that many readers (heck I didn’t expect to have any readers), not for a first book from an unknown author, but to my shock, within several days the book climbed up Siren-BookStrand’s bestseller list. It’s sitting there right now, still selling nicely, and I keep pinching myself. I’ve got bruises on my thigh because I keep thinking: you’re not pinching hard enough, seriously.

Honestly, I didn’t expect it to go anywhere at all. I hoped I’d get a few readers, make enough money to replace the Kindle my teenager lost, and keep on writing. I couldn’t be more grateful that it’s done as well as it has. Even so, the best part of this whole thing is that I get to make stuff up for a living: the crazier the story, the hotter the romance the better. I get to write about falling in love again and again. Thank you universe.